NEWS-TRENDS-ANALYSIS

THE LIGHTER SIDE

The Quotations of Alan Coren
Broadcaster, Satirist & Humorist (1939 - 2007)

To honour the memory of Alan Coren one of Britain's wittiest writers and columnists who died on 18 October, we reproduce a variety of humourous quotations that have been attributed to him in the media. While we cannot vouch for their authenticity, we believe that they mirror his wonderful off-the-wall view on life. Alan, we will miss you:

"Enjoy your life today because yesterday has gone and tomorrow may never come"

"Democracy consists of choosing your dictators after they've told you what you think it is you want to hear"

"Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room"

"It takes a rather special sort of person to follow soaps. You have to be highly intelligent (to understand them) and as thick as a brick (to want to)"

"I wonder sometimes if manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things"

On Malta:
"I poke my braised welly with a fork...the food is indescribably dire. Malta is the only place in the world where the local delicacy is the bread"

On Holland:
"Apart from cheese and tulips, the main product of the country is advocaat, a drink made from lawyers"

On Switzerland:
"Since both its national products snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by"

"Being a personality is not the same as having a personality"

Please contact the Editorial Team at Quintus Management at quintus@quintusmanagement.co.uk or at +44 (0)28 9146 9901.

(30 October 2007)

© Quintus Management (2009)